Ok so now we’re only one week behind, let’s just keep moving.
This week was the world-famous fan-favorite Snatch Game episode, where the contestants do their best celebrity impersonation during a faux game show set up like Match Game. However none of this translated to the runway, where the theme was simply ‘fishy’. The girls were allowed to interpret this in any way they chose, though keep in mind that serving fish in the drag world generally translates into looking like a realistic woman. Keep these things in mind as we go through these pictures.
First we begin as we do all good things, with a shot of RuPaul.
You’ll notice I’m trying to get in some different kinds of angles and lighting as I make these screenshots, let me know how you like it. (Or at least someone comment on something. Seriously. I know people are reading this via the view counter but it’s always nice to see some kind of feedback. Don’t be scared ^_^.) Back to Ru, the purple and neon yellow really works here, and when she moved around every strand of purple shuffled and shimmered very nicely.
COMMENCE… SHAKE… DOWN.
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We begin with Ivy Winters, who took the fishy theme both ways. Realistic Woman/Goldfish Realness.
My god she is beautiful. Ironically he is dark-haired as a guy but as Ivy, blonde just suits her to a T. (Pronouns are so tricky to play with when you’re talking drag.) I have no critiques for her, everything is on point and in place, as it usually is anyway. Ivy is Top 3 material, I am calling it now.
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Detox also took the fishy theme literally, by wearing this strange jellyfish dress that is as unflattering as it sounds.
Ooh, this week was a rough one for Detox. Everything from the neck up is just fine, and the legs are killer, but the upper-middle of her needs to go back to the workroom and revise. Maybe it would work better if he were more heavyset and could fill out the dress more. Or if this were really meant to be a jellyfish (and not a blue muffin) she should have added some tentacles coming down from the bottom. If that’s what her bare legs were meant to represent, they’re not cutting it.
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Jade, were you going through Alyssa Edwards’ wardrobe?
It’s like Alyssa’s brain in Jade’s body, I barely recognized her when she came out. I feel like this is what Alyssa thinks she looks like when she does all those faces and tries to look all cute. Only Jade does this naturally and she looks so much better. This is probably the least colorful look we’ve ever seen Ms Jolie in, and it’s nice to see that she can still look sexy and fun in black and silver. I really like her!
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Wow Roxxxy, look at your bust!! Something’s fishy, alright…
For me, the illusion of cleavage is one of the holy grails of drag. It doesn’t matter how busted you look, or even if you’re tucked or not, but when you’re able to make a natural male chest somehow look like a buxom bosom you’ve really got a knack for this kind of stuff. Roxxxy and especially Detox (who is stick thin!) pull off busts that are in some cases even better than the real thing. But besides that, everything else is classic Roxxxy. Nothing we’ve necessarily seen before, but nothing we wouldn’t expect. It’s… ok.
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Jinkx was challenged by judge Michelle Visage to bring glamour to the runway. This is how Jinkx answered that challenge. Draw your own conclusions.
According to Jinkx, this is ‘Seattle glamour.’ I really think she’s doing her city a disservice by saying that. Yes she looks pretty and fishy, and I do like the dress otherwise, but a cloth headband and feathered pendant are not glamorous. It’s very nice but not haute couture, no matter how she tries to justify it.
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And the Most Overdone Wig Award goes to… this wig.
Nicki Minaj popularized the whole dark skin/blond or pink banged wig thing, and so far we’ve seen Phi Phi O’Hara, Kenya Michaels, and now Coco Montrese doing it. It does look good, and everything else Coco’s doing does come together, but for 2013 it’s just overplayed. If this would have been 2003 our jaws would be dropping at this revolution, and if this were 2023 it’d be considered retro chic. But now it’s just ‘ugh, again with this damn wig?!’
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The first thing I notice is the hair. It’s the most relaxed thing we’ve ever seen about Alyssa.
Alyssa proclaims herself as the definition of fishy realness. I’m sorry but that definition belongs to Season 3’s Carmen Carrera. There’s nothing really wrong with this look, but like always, I’m not blown-over impressed. There’s never been a moment where I’ve said she looks gorgeous or beautiful as I’ve said about Ivy Winters and Jade Jolie.
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New wig, new look… looks like Lineysha’s pulling a Vivienne.
This dress had the chance of looking really bad in execution, but Lineysha Sparx wears it with finesse. I love the one-sleeve/one-leg alternation, along with the chains and choker. Lineysha always gave good runway, but she barely gives anything else. He’s barely given cutaways, we almost never see him out of drag, and though the runway is good, it comes and goes. I’m not left with a lasting impression, nor am I specifically rooting for her.
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The theme is fishy, so Alaska brings out an actual fish. GENIUS!!
This is just too funny, and only Alaska would think of this and do it so well. Yes that is an actual fish, apparently caught by his grandfather years ago. The rest of the dress echoes Ariel, further adding to the theme. Alaska does have a kind of beauty about her that I can’t quite place, as well as major guts to take some big chances on the runway (that always pay off). Alaska is the winner for me this week, if only for taking the wordplay to the literal extreme. I couldn’t stop laughing when I was watching her.
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Winner: Jinkx Monsoon
High-Ranking: Alaska, Roxxxy Andrews
Low-Ranking: Alyssa Edwards, Ivy Winters, Detox, Lineysha Sparx
Bottom Two: Detox, Lineysha Sparx
Eliminated: Lineysha Sparx
Soon we will have challenges that are ranked purely on runway, but we’re not there yet: rankings were based this week on Snatch Game performance. The Snatch Game itself this season was pretty blah. Alyssa bombed as Katy Perry but had immunity from last week’s win, so she was technically exempt from rankings. The win easily went to Jinkx who impersonated Little Edie of Grey Gardens fame. I’ve never heard of this person or of the film, but her performance was still scene stealing and funny. She made me want to watch Grey Gardens now when I otherwise wouldn’t. Detox’s Kesha was flat and Lineysha’s Celia Cruz was absolutely inexcusable. Lineysha gave off the vibe that she was pretty much done with the competition and did all she could, so she left on good terms.
And I feel I must voice my opinion about this: I really hope Drag Race stops bringing over Puerto Rican contestants that can barely speak English. Sure there’s the ones that did well and could carry a conversation, like Nina Flowers and Alexis Mateo, but Yara Sofia started a trend of Hispanic queens that rely on wackiness and broken English as a funny gimmick to stay around a bit. It really gets on my nerves. We saw it with Kenya Michaels and especially with Lineysha Sparx, to the points where there were several instances where they would just speak in Spanish completely with subtitles. Why is the show obliged to have a Puerto Rican representation every single season?! Especially when the contestants don’t even have the respect of the show to speak in the language used?! There’s nothing wrong with tapping into ethnicity, but there’s a way to do it.
Well it’s certainly been a while, and these next few recaps are now weeks overdue. I blame work entirely for this. I didn’t get the days off that I usually do lately and when I get back I’m too tired to do anything else. This blog is not a hobby that I keep on the side, this is work. And who wants to come back from an 8-hour job to do a second one right after that? Not me.
Day job bitterness aside, let’s get on with the recaps before this blog comes out like my Allstars one. This week’s challenge was a ballet performed by the contestants, with each act being a segment of RuPaul’s life. (It’s challenges like this that make me think Ru is just a tad self-absorbed.) Again if you want to know more about that, watch the episode. The runway, however…
Ru is looking stunning in ballet/opera spectator realness. I’m absolutely loving the shade of red and the long black sleeves adorned in random jewelry. But her best prop is what she pulled out from time to time during the performance:
Hysterical. Keep in mind she’s barely 20 feet from the runway in the first place. Also, there’s another one of those horrible hashtags I couldn’t get around for the screenshot.
So following the rather lengthy ballet was a heavily truncated runway. This show has never scammed the runway as badly as this episode did. It was merely a lineup, each contestant walked to the front, did a little thing, and stayed there. The poor runway song was even rushed through so it would begin and end on time. Each contestant will only have 2 pictures because there wasn’t enough runway time to even get 3 screenshots! It’s almost as if they threw the runway in ‘just because’. Luckily it did not have a set theme so the girls wore whatever they wanted. Also forgive that none of the screenshots have the contestants’ names, as they didn’t even include the on-screen graphics this time! But by now you know who they are, right?
COMMENCE… SHAKE… DOWN.
Again we begin with Alaska, who’s going for a rich city woman theme.
I LOVE the red X on the back of the fur! It’s all in the small details, people... Besides that though I’m not totally feeling Alaska’s look this week. It’s a little too gold, paired with the blond hair, light stockings… and all the extra accessories are also that same light yellow. There’s too much blending and it makes it difficult to appreciate those small details, save the giant red X.
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Looks like Jade decided to wear her name on her outfit in case the Drag Race graphics wouldn’t show up. What are the odds!
Jade Jolie plays along this line of cute and powerful in her looks, and it comes out gorgeously. Jade is a contender, there’s no question about that, and it takes a lot of ego to wear your name like that. I love everything about this, and I especially like the way she worked it. (That thing she’s doing with her hands in the right pic is oddly perfect.) Maybe it’s just my soft spot for black/red combinations…
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Lineysha Sparx is up next. We’ve seen that wig before and we’ve seen the makeup before. The dress is new, but plain as hell.
Lineysha is pretty, yes I agree. But as Vivienne has proved, good looks alone aren’t everything this season. Lineysha’s been boring me the past few weeks and now it’s come to a head. Yawn.
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And now the total opposite of predictable and boring: Jinkx Monsoon. Once again she has transformed herself completely. I am in awe.
I’m getting a little Sharon Needles vibe from her, aren’t you? I’m loving everything I’m seeing here, from the headpiece and eyepatch to the black boots and the way she’s holding her arms. Jinkx is a joy to watch on the runway, and with each week you really never know what you’re going to see.
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Following Jinkx is another top-class runway presenter: Ivy Winters. Just look at this!!
I just noticed that in the left picture the strips of black fabric all look like a single piece, which makes the right picture ‘spread’ look even cooler. Matched with the black crystal work and that amazing headpiece, this ensemble makes me resent even more that the *entire* runway lasted about 45 seconds.
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Oh hello, Alyssa Edwards. You shouldn’t have followed Ivy Winters because your spread-out look doesn’t hold a candle to your competitor’s.
I’m still getting this feeling of desperation from Alyssa on the runway. It’s this overconfident, overpowering ‘I’m Still Miss Gay America!!’ vibe that is just so unappealing. And those odd jaw-dropped faces she makes… apparently that’s her thing and she’s in on the joke. Ugh. I wish she made herself more likable.
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Coco Montrese, on the other hand, projects a much more likable image on the runway. A little simple this week, but really well done!
Though Coco considers herself majorly distracted by her progenitor Alyssa’s presence in the competition, she doesn’t show it for a second on the runway. She looks lovely here, and still brings a level of quality and class that Alyssa just couldn’t deliver this week.
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I think Detox is in there, somewhere.
Not loving it this week. The dress doesn’t amount to much of one, and the stylized wig is just too fake for me. However, Detox is absolutely rocking it, in the right picture especially. I don’t like it but she’s making me like it. A good sign of a strong queen.
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Oh Honey, here we go again.
Once again she’s wearing the same kind of flowy dress. And that wig, oh lord. She reminds me strongly of Milan last season, and Milan kinda blew out around this same time last season. Like Lineysha, I’m just not getting anything from Honey Mahogany. Are you?
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Vivienne Pinay! She’s pulling out the edge this week, WOW!!
YES. This is what I’ve been waiting for from you, Ms Pinay! The tights, the jacket, that hair… why did you wait so long to deliver what I knew you always had in you?! And I had already given up on you. Now the question is, is it too little too late?
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And finally we have Roxxxy Andrews, wearing the same lipstick as Detox. I wonder whose idea it was first?
I’m divided on this look tonight. I like colors and the shine of the dress, but I don’t like that there’s not much of it. The hair is also love/hate for me. Actually you know what? Roxxxy as a whole is very love/hate for me. I can’t decide whether I like her or not. She can bring it, and she’s no amateur, but there’s something keeping me from joining her camp.
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Winner: Alyssa Edwards
High-Ranking: Ivy Winters, Jinkx Monsoon
Low-Ranking: Roxxxy Andrews, Honey Mahogany, Vivienne Pinay
Bottom Two: Honey Mahogany, Vivienne Pinay
Eliminated: Honey Mahogany AND Vivienne Pinay
Oh snap. For the first time ever, RuPaul did a double elimination. And I agree with it. The lip-sync of ‘Oops I Did It Again’ was very low-key from both Honey and Vivienne, though I preferred Vivienne’s more sultry take on it, it wasn’t exciting. Honey never really impressed me during the competition and Vivienne’s sublime runway this week did not make up for weeks of subpar performances. Alyssa was the rightful winner since they were ranked on their ballet performances, and she killed it. But anyway, I kinda like that Ru took two out of the race this week, as it helps the weeding out process go quicker and we can see more of the better racers.
Oh, and RuPaul? DON'T EVER CONDENSE THE RUNWAY AGAIN.
