Drag Race S5 E05 - Runway Recap

Ok so now we’re only one week behind, let’s just keep moving.

This week was the world-famous fan-favorite Snatch Game episode, where the contestants do their best celebrity impersonation during a faux game show set up like Match Game. However none of this translated to the runway, where the theme was simply ‘fishy’. The girls were allowed to interpret this in any way they chose, though keep in mind that serving fish in the drag world generally translates into looking like a realistic woman. Keep these things in mind as we go through these pictures.

First we begin as we do all good things, with a shot of RuPaul.

You’ll notice I’m trying to get in some different kinds of angles and lighting as I make these screenshots, let me know how you like it. (Or at least someone comment on something. Seriously. I know people are reading this via the view counter but it’s always nice to see some kind of feedback. Don’t be scared ^_^.) Back to Ru, the purple and neon yellow really works here, and when she moved around every strand of purple shuffled and shimmered very nicely.

COMMENCE… SHAKE… DOWN.

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We begin with Ivy Winters, who took the fishy theme both ways. Realistic Woman/Goldfish Realness.

My god she is beautiful. Ironically he is dark-haired as a guy but as Ivy, blonde just suits her to a T. (Pronouns are so tricky to play with when you’re talking drag.) I have no critiques for her, everything is on point and in place, as it usually is anyway. Ivy is Top 3 material, I am calling it now.

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Detox also took the fishy theme literally, by wearing this strange jellyfish dress that is as unflattering as it sounds.

Ooh, this week was a rough one for Detox. Everything from the neck up is just fine, and the legs are killer, but the upper-middle of her needs to go back to the workroom and revise. Maybe it would work better if he were more heavyset and could fill out the dress more. Or if this were really meant to be a jellyfish (and not a blue muffin) she should have added some tentacles coming down from the bottom. If that’s what her bare legs were meant to represent, they’re not cutting it.

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Jade, were you going through Alyssa Edwards’ wardrobe?

It’s like Alyssa’s brain in Jade’s body, I barely recognized her when she came out. I feel like this is what Alyssa thinks she looks like when she does all those faces and tries to look all cute. Only Jade does this naturally and she looks so much better. This is probably the least colorful look we’ve ever seen Ms Jolie in, and it’s nice to see that she can still look sexy and fun in black and silver. I really like her!

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Wow Roxxxy, look at your bust!! Something’s fishy, alright…

For me, the illusion of cleavage is one of the holy grails of drag. It doesn’t matter how busted you look, or even if you’re tucked or not, but when you’re able to make a natural male chest somehow look like a buxom bosom you’ve really got a knack for this kind of stuff. Roxxxy and especially Detox (who is stick thin!) pull off busts that are in some cases even better than the real thing. But besides that, everything else is classic Roxxxy. Nothing we’ve necessarily seen before, but nothing we wouldn’t expect. It’s… ok.

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Jinkx was challenged by judge Michelle Visage to bring glamour to the runway. This is how Jinkx answered that challenge. Draw your own conclusions.

According to Jinkx, this is ‘Seattle glamour.’ I really think she’s doing her city a disservice by saying that. Yes she looks pretty and fishy, and I do like the dress otherwise, but a cloth headband and feathered pendant are not glamorous. It’s very nice but not haute couture, no matter how she tries to justify it.

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And the Most Overdone Wig Award goes to… this wig.

Nicki Minaj popularized the whole dark skin/blond or pink banged wig thing, and so far we’ve seen Phi Phi O’Hara, Kenya Michaels, and now Coco Montrese doing it. It does look good, and everything else Coco’s doing does come together, but for 2013 it’s just overplayed. If this would have been 2003 our jaws would be dropping at this revolution, and if this were 2023 it’d be considered retro chic. But now it’s just ‘ugh, again with this damn wig?!’

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The first thing I notice is the hair. It’s the most relaxed thing we’ve ever seen about Alyssa.

Alyssa proclaims herself as the definition of fishy realness. I’m sorry but that definition belongs to Season 3’s Carmen Carrera. There’s nothing really wrong with this look, but like always, I’m not blown-over impressed. There’s never been a moment where I’ve said she looks gorgeous or beautiful as I’ve said about Ivy Winters and Jade Jolie.

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New wig, new look… looks like Lineysha’s pulling a Vivienne.

This dress had the chance of looking really bad in execution, but Lineysha Sparx wears it with finesse. I love the one-sleeve/one-leg alternation, along with the chains and choker. Lineysha always gave good runway, but she barely gives anything else. He’s barely given cutaways, we almost never see him out of drag, and though the runway is good, it comes and goes. I’m not left with a lasting impression, nor am I specifically rooting for her.

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The theme is fishy, so Alaska brings out an actual fish. GENIUS!!

This is just too funny, and only Alaska would think of this and do it so well. Yes that is an actual fish, apparently caught by his grandfather years ago. The rest of the dress echoes Ariel, further adding to the theme. Alaska does have a kind of beauty about her that I can’t quite place, as well as major guts to take some big chances on the runway (that always pay off). Alaska is the winner for me this week, if only for taking the wordplay to the literal extreme. I couldn’t stop laughing when I was watching her.

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Winner: Jinkx Monsoon
High-Ranking: Alaska, Roxxxy Andrews
Low-Ranking: Alyssa Edwards, Ivy Winters, Detox, Lineysha Sparx
Bottom Two: Detox, Lineysha Sparx
Eliminated: Lineysha Sparx

Soon we will have challenges that are ranked purely on runway, but we’re not there yet: rankings were based this week on Snatch Game performance. The Snatch Game itself this season was pretty blah. Alyssa bombed as Katy Perry but had immunity from last week’s win, so she was technically exempt from rankings. The win easily went to Jinkx who impersonated Little Edie of Grey Gardens fame. I’ve never heard of this person or of the film, but her performance was still scene stealing and funny. She made me want to watch Grey Gardens now when I otherwise wouldn’t. Detox’s Kesha was flat and Lineysha’s Celia Cruz was absolutely inexcusable. Lineysha gave off the vibe that she was pretty much done with the competition and did all she could, so she left on good terms.

And I feel I must voice my opinion about this: I really hope Drag Race stops bringing over Puerto Rican contestants that can barely speak English. Sure there’s the ones that did well and could carry a conversation, like Nina Flowers and Alexis Mateo, but Yara Sofia started a trend of Hispanic queens that rely on wackiness and broken English as a funny gimmick to stay around a bit. It really gets on my nerves. We saw it with Kenya Michaels and especially with Lineysha Sparx, to the points where there were several instances where they would just speak in Spanish completely with subtitles. Why is the show obliged to have a Puerto Rican representation every single season?! Especially when the contestants don’t even have the respect of the show to speak in the language used?! There’s nothing wrong with tapping into ethnicity, but there’s a way to do it.