Drag Race S5 E04 - Runway Recap

Well it’s certainly been a while, and these next few recaps are now weeks overdue. I blame work entirely for this. I didn’t get the days off that I usually do lately and when I get back I’m too tired to do anything else. This blog is not a hobby that I keep on the side, this is work. And who wants to come back from an 8-hour job to do a second one right after that? Not me.

Day job bitterness aside, let’s get on with the recaps before this blog comes out like my Allstars one. This week’s challenge was a ballet performed by the contestants, with each act being a segment of RuPaul’s life. (It’s challenges like this that make me think Ru is just a tad self-absorbed.) Again if you want to know more about that, watch the episode. The runway, however…

Ru is looking stunning in ballet/opera spectator realness. I’m absolutely loving the shade of red and the long black sleeves adorned in random jewelry. But her best prop is what she pulled out from time to time during the performance:

Hysterical. Keep in mind she’s barely 20 feet from the runway in the first place. Also, there’s another one of those horrible hashtags I couldn’t get around for the screenshot. 

So following the rather lengthy ballet was a heavily truncated runway. This show has never scammed the runway as badly as this episode did. It was merely a lineup, each contestant walked to the front, did a little thing, and stayed there. The poor runway song was even rushed through so it would begin and end on time. Each contestant will only have 2 pictures because there wasn’t enough runway time to even get 3 screenshots! It’s almost as if they threw the runway in ‘just because’. Luckily it did not have a set theme so the girls wore whatever they wanted. Also forgive that none of the screenshots have the contestants’ names, as they didn’t even include the on-screen graphics this time! But by now you know who they are, right?

COMMENCE… SHAKE… DOWN.

Again we begin with Alaska, who’s going for a rich city woman theme.

I LOVE the red X on the back of the fur! It’s all in the small details, people... Besides that though I’m not totally feeling Alaska’s look this week. It’s a little too gold, paired with the blond hair, light stockings… and all the extra accessories are also that same light yellow. There’s too much blending and it makes it difficult to appreciate those small details, save the giant red X.

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Looks like Jade decided to wear her name on her outfit in case the Drag Race graphics wouldn’t show up. What are the odds!

Jade Jolie plays along this line of cute and powerful in her looks, and it comes out gorgeously. Jade is a contender, there’s no question about that, and it takes a lot of ego to wear your name like that. I love everything about this, and I especially like the way she worked it. (That thing she’s doing with her hands in the right pic is oddly perfect.) Maybe it’s just my soft spot for black/red combinations…

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Lineysha Sparx is up next. We’ve seen that wig before and we’ve seen the makeup before. The dress is new, but plain as hell.

Lineysha is pretty, yes I agree. But as Vivienne has proved, good looks alone aren’t everything this season. Lineysha’s been boring me the past few weeks and now it’s come to a head. Yawn.

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And now the total opposite of predictable and boring: Jinkx Monsoon. Once again she has transformed herself completely. I am in awe.

I’m getting a little Sharon Needles vibe from her, aren’t you? I’m loving everything I’m seeing here, from the headpiece and eyepatch to the black boots and the way she’s holding her arms. Jinkx is a joy to watch on the runway, and with each week you really never know what you’re going to see.

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Following Jinkx is another top-class runway presenter: Ivy Winters. Just look at this!!

I just noticed that in the left picture the strips of black fabric all look like a single piece, which makes the right picture ‘spread’ look even cooler. Matched with the black crystal work and that amazing headpiece, this ensemble makes me resent even more that the *entire* runway lasted about 45 seconds.

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Oh hello, Alyssa Edwards. You shouldn’t have followed Ivy Winters because your spread-out look doesn’t hold a candle to your competitor’s.

I’m still getting this feeling of desperation from Alyssa on the runway. It’s this overconfident, overpowering ‘I’m Still Miss Gay America!!’ vibe that is just so unappealing. And those odd jaw-dropped faces she makes… apparently that’s her thing and she’s in on the joke. Ugh. I wish she made herself more likable.

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Coco Montrese, on the other hand, projects a much more likable image on the runway. A little simple this week, but really well done!

Though Coco considers herself majorly distracted by her progenitor Alyssa’s presence in the competition, she doesn’t show it for a second on the runway. She looks lovely here, and still brings a level of quality and class that Alyssa just couldn’t deliver this week.

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I think Detox is in there, somewhere.

Not loving it this week. The dress doesn’t amount to much of one, and the stylized wig is just too fake for me. However, Detox is absolutely rocking it, in the right picture especially. I don’t like it but she’s making me like it. A good sign of a strong queen.

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Oh Honey, here we go again.

Once again she’s wearing the same kind of flowy dress. And that wig, oh lord. She reminds me strongly of Milan last season, and Milan kinda blew out around this same time last season. Like Lineysha, I’m just not getting anything from Honey Mahogany. Are you?

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Vivienne Pinay! She’s pulling out the edge this week, WOW!!

YES. This is what I’ve been waiting for from you, Ms Pinay! The tights, the jacket, that hair… why did you wait so long to deliver what I knew you always had in you?! And I had already given up on you. Now the question is, is it too little too late?

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And finally we have Roxxxy Andrews, wearing the same lipstick as Detox. I wonder whose idea it was first?

I’m divided on this look tonight. I like colors and the shine of the dress, but I don’t like that there’s not much of it. The hair is also love/hate for me. Actually you know what? Roxxxy as a whole is very love/hate for me. I can’t decide whether I like her or not. She can bring it, and she’s no amateur, but there’s something keeping me from joining her camp.

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Winner: Alyssa Edwards
High-Ranking: Ivy Winters, Jinkx Monsoon
Low-Ranking: Roxxxy Andrews, Honey Mahogany, Vivienne Pinay
Bottom Two: Honey Mahogany, Vivienne Pinay
Eliminated: Honey Mahogany AND Vivienne Pinay

Oh snap. For the first time ever, RuPaul did a double elimination. And I agree with it. The lip-sync of ‘Oops I Did It Again’ was very low-key from both Honey and Vivienne, though I preferred Vivienne’s more sultry take on it, it wasn’t exciting. Honey never really impressed me during the competition and Vivienne’s sublime runway this week did not make up for weeks of subpar performances. Alyssa was the rightful winner since they were ranked on their ballet performances, and she killed it. But anyway, I kinda like that Ru took two out of the race this week, as it helps the weeding out process go quicker and we can see more of the better racers.

Oh, and RuPaul? DON'T EVER CONDENSE THE RUNWAY AGAIN.