Drag Race S5 E06 - Runway Recap

I blame the one-week delay on these recaps purely on my day job, which gives me barely any time to myself and exhausts me at the end of the day. With your support I’ll be able to rid myself on it and have my writing take care of my finances. It CAN happen and it WILL happen, but only with the help of my readers and supporters. I give you my word (no pun intended) that with a day job gone that you will receive a plethora of more high-quality posts and beyond.

And for all of you that are slogging through my Drag Race posts wondering when I’ll finally change the subject, hang in there. The season is about half over (omg) so your deliverance is in sight, but not for a while. (And I’ll probably still talk about them even after the season is over.)

Oh Ru…!

Looking lovely tonight! Bluish silver, semi-realistic hair and perfect makeup make this one of the better weeks for our queen of queens. This week the runway criteria was one of the more uncommon ones: highlight your favorite body part. To my knowledge this was only done one other time, in season 3. The criteria is rather loose, nor are the contestants really held to it, but generally this signifies that this is one of the last times you’ll see the racers in their own wardrobe. At this point of the competition the challenges start to change over from acting and personality to dressmaking and pageantry. It’s also the time when the eliminations start getting painful, as you’ll see. =(

COMMENCE… SHAKE… DOWN.

(By the way, anyone still wondering what the commence shakedown means before I put the pics up… you really haven’t watched this season, have you?)

Favorite Body Part: Heart.

This dress requires about 5 seconds to understand. It’s supposed to look like she’s nude and her chest has been ripped open, showing her internal organs, ribcage, and her bleeding heart. (Yeah, that red thing’s her heart.) Unfortunately if you need someone to explain all that to you, it nullifies the effect. As for the rest of her, the hair is fun (but odd) and the makeup’s a bit bright, especially if she’s trying to look like a zombie. I really don’t know. This was not Coco’s week, neither in the runway nor the main challenge itself.

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Favorite Body Part: Legs.

At this point it makes no more sense to clock Alyssa on her overdone badassery or her facial expressions. Maybe for the first time, I like what she’s bringing to the runway. The garment just flows over her, catching every wind it can get, and I love the shoes with the neverending straps. Hair is nice, makeup is clean, overall good job.

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Favorite Body Part: Hair (assumed)

That last shot of her I got completely on accident, and the minute I looked at it I knew I couldn’t put it to waste. Today Jade is an explosion of rainbow hair, albeit the colors start from the bottom and work their way up. It’s so over-the-top and absurd that it’s perfect for her, and it wouldn’t look nearly as good on anyone else. I like it, I like Jade Jolie, I always did, end of story.

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Favorite Body Part: Face

Ivy decided to make her dress this week completely out of headshots. For something she just whipped up that day, it’s very impressive. It’s another great sign for her that she can execute something so simple and effective, and this was the one who went out as a butterfly on stilts a few weeks ago. If I had to give one critique, it’d be that her makeup never changes from week to week and she’s blonde very often, but why fix what isn’t broken?

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Favorite Body Part: We don’t know.

I feel that Jinkx ignored the runway criteria completely and continued to take on Michelle Visage’s challenge of bringing glamour. That’s just fine with me and apparently it was fine with everyone else too. Ms Monsoon looks perfect tonight except for one thing: the cheek makeup. Those lines are too severe and honestly she doesn’t even need them. It makes it look like she’s wearing a mask from the nose up. But if you can mentally erase those lines from your mind I’d say that Jinkx met Michelle’s challenge. This girl is destined for Broadway.

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Favorite Body Part: Body-ody-ody.

Roxxxy’s problem is similar to that of Season 3‘s India Ferrah: she paints herself to look many years older than she is. She does her eyes the same way every week, by overloading them with detail and color. Problem is that her eyes aren’t big enough to take all that so they just don’t look right. And that wig, whoa. That’s not what you wear in your 20s. It’s what you wear in your 50s when you notice your real hair is thinning. As for the rest of the would-be dress: meh. Roxxxy is too young (and cute in guy form) to keep trying to look like a cougar.

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Favorite Body Part: Right Collarbone. (seriously)

Alaska can be as cynical as her last-season-winning boyfriend sometimes. Either she forgot the criteria and made something up quick, or she’s mocking the notoriety of a favorite body part by picking something so facetious. I want to say it’s the latter. Anyway, there’s that same wig from week 2, i.e. my favorite outfit of Alaska’s so far! The rest of the outfit is adequate, and idk she looks like more of a horse than usual, but she gets a free pass this week just cuz I like her. =)

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Favorite Body Part: Ass.

Let me explain. From the back, Detox’s dress is simply an undone corset, and this goes all the way down to show almost her entire rear end. I’m really surprised the censors let this one slide because when she turns around, there it is in all its glory. I have refrained from putting up a picture of it because this is a family blog. Yeah right. Really it’s because enough people mistake Drag Race for being pornographic (my parents included =P). By putting up a picture of Detox’s butt and saying ‘No it’s not!” would be, well… ass-backwards. So instead I put up a bunch of pictures of Detox’s flawless head this week. It’s very similar if not exactly her look from the now classic music video ‘Chow Down at Chick-Fil-A’, also starring season 4’s Willam Belli.

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Ranking Based On Runway?: No
Winner: Ivy Winters
High-Ranking: Jinkx Monsoon, Roxxxy Andrews
Low-Ranking: Alaska, Coco Montrese, Jade Jolie
Bottom Two: Coco Montrese, Jade Jolie
Eliminated: Jade Jolie =’(

Oh no, Jade Jolie has crossed the rainbow into Drag Race Hell! She’s the first queen I’m really gonna miss. From a competitive standpoint, Jade was a victim of being too safe. Week after week she was not the best in the challenges nor the worst. She always just fell in the middle with a smile and giggle, and in many ways her runway was about as interesting as she got. Coco Montrese totally bombed this challenge but turned out the lip-sync, and compared to Jade, Coco’s got a little more under her belt. But again we’re at the point where everyone’s good and someone’s gotta go. I’ll miss her.

I don’t know what it is that attracts me to her, and it’s not a lust. Here’s a gay guy who clearly has been through more than his share, and when he becomes a drag queen (which is even more taboo) he is 110% rainbows and unicorns and all things fabulous. And he does it with a smile on his face and a song in his heart, knowing well that he must have naysayers that would snap his throat if given the chance. Jade is living his dream as a queen, and one who made it on Drag Race for a good few episodes. If he can be Jolie, why can’t I become the writer, commentator and otherwise personality that I aspire to be?