Retrogaming still reigns supreme in my soul, and the mini console game reviews and demo discs will be continued eventually. But after a particularly lucky session at a craps table in Atlantic City last weekend, I found myself the proud new owner of a Nintendo Switch 2, with the Virtual Boy headset on order. It arrived last night, and with it my ticket to a new, 30-year-old world I've only ever heard negative things about.
"Virtual Boy sucks...the games are terrible...it makes you go blind...it's so bad...what was Nintendo thinking...it's so stupid and anyone that likes it is stupid too..."
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Virtual Boy was released in 1995 as a filler product to brunt Nintendo against the flurry of new consoles launched by its rivals. The Nintendo 64 was facing continual delays and the Super Nintendo and Game Boy were showing their age. So a virtual reality pet project Nintendo was dabbling in was forced into the limelight as the designated new shiny thing hoping to divert attention. An entirely new concept in the consumer gaming market, the Virtual Boy was technically impressive, even though it made major concessions to come together (namely its monochrome red graphics and awkward mount.) Initial reactions and previews were tepid if not completely hostile; critics rightly saw through the portable (?) console as the fad-chasing rush job it was. What could have been a third pillar in their product line was kneecapped before it had a chance to prove itself to the masses.
Nintendo was now in a bind. They had sunk too much time and money into this project to cancel it now, and its absence would draw even more attention to the missing N64. The best thing they could do is release the Virtual Boy anyway with its meager collection of launch window games, and call it a holiday season. Anything would be better than nothing. Even if people hate it and it underperforms, the Nintendo 64 would soon release (followed by the Game Boy Pocket refresh) and wash the Virtual Boy away from collective memory. It would be the best win/win they could cobble together.
And that's exactly what happened. Nintendo released the Virtual Boy out to die, filling in for a solid year left vacant by the N64's delay. Saddled with a high price, flaky support, and a horrible reputation, the Virtual Boy fulfilled its stopgap duty in name only. It did the company no favors, instead it was the incredible second wind of the Super Nintendo that kept Nintendo in gamers' good graces, along with the steady cadence of the Game Boy. By the time the Nintendo 64 finally released, Nintendo was all too happy to excise the Virtual Boy from existence... right?
In the years that followed, Nintendo made zero effort to recognize any game from the Virtual Boy's library, and yet the console itself would make cheeky cameos in future games. Super Smash Bros. Melee, Animal Crossing New Leaf, and Luigi's Mansion 3, among others, would reference the Virtual Boy's hardware with a thick glaze of irony. And yet the Nintendo 3DS came and went without a single mention of a Virtual Boy game port, despite the 3DS being a perfected version of the Virtual Boy's creative vision. So clearly Nintendo had a fickle relationship with its dud of a console, too proud to forget about it but too embarrassed to give it a second chance... which makes this Nintendo Switch reissue one of the most delightfully baffling decisions they have ever made.
Against every rational thought, especially for a publicly traded company, Nintendo decided this year to bolster its Switch Online service with the presence of the Virtual Boy. Most of the US library (along with some notable JP exclusives) made the list: games unavailable to properly experience for 30 years. Two additional games will soon join them that had their releases canceled. So yes, fully complete games shelved indefinitely for a dead-end console will inexplicably see the light of day decades after their time. It's incredibly fascinating in its circumstance alone. Especially from a company that is notorious for its questionable decisions, every now and then Nintendo pulls a stunt like this that solidifies their place as one of gaming's most magical companies.
And this stunt wouldn't be complete without going. all. the. way. As the Virtual Boy was a truly unique experience, playing it straight on a traditional emulator wouldn't do the system justice. You need the 3D, you need the immersion. So they released a full-size replica shell that your Switch slots into, taking your 2025 console back to 1995. For those scared to fully commit, they also released a (cheaper) cardboard shell to peer into, requiring you to hold your Switch like a periscope.
Ok so with alllll that exposition out of the way, what am I trying to get at here??
I always knew about the Virtual Boy, but never had enough interest to delve in it. Even after seeing the NSO trailer, I didn't jump on purchasing the $100 accessory to use it. (Or the $30 cardboard one for that matter.) All I needed to know about its ill-fated library I saw already on countless YouTube videos, each more cynical and mean-spirited than the last. But as Nintendo kept adding games to the service, my interest slowly climbed. Yes it's the Virtual Boy, yes it 'sucks' according to the Internet, but risk-averse modern-day Nintendo is choosing to celebrate these games front and center, going all-out with this initiative. They don't have to be doing this. Maybe, just maybe, these games aren't as bad as the algorithm is telling me they are? And worth trying?
With a $100 casino chip burning a hole in my pocket, and my NSO subscription paid for in perpetuity by the cash back on my credit card, for me this modern-day Virtual Boy is completely free! I have nothing to lose but my time (and possibly my eyesight if I actually believed the over-memed health warnings.)
I started up the Virtual Boy NSO app, popped my shiny new Switch 2 in the shell (Switch 1 works too!) and was immediately greeted with the color red. Like, welcome to your new vision, it's red. So much red. And if it isn't red, it's black. But not just any black. The best way to describe it is 'void.' You see, the Virtual Boy is a world of eternal night. Everything hangs in this void of uncanny darkness. The graphics punctuate the void in various shades of red, in a richer gamut than I had expected. The rich mono spectrum combined with crisp pixels allow for a level of detail in the sprites that multicolor would muddy. And these sprites all layer in front of you like a pop-up book, with a true 3D effect that flat videos cannot replicate. It legitimately works, and unlike the 3DS it is required for the games to properly play. This is why you can't just play the games without visor lenses, or on a TV. Running these games in RetroArch like any other retro console will work, but without the parallax depth the games will be difficult to judge and unflattering to view. It's precisely this compromised emulation that has tarnished the Virtual Boy even more over the years. Like modern VR headsets, there is a 'sweet spot' you'll need to find, but once you do the Virtual Boy's graphics really shine. And shine they do, in a very lasery red.
The Virtual Boy's odd tong-like legs make for a table mount that was uncomfortable to use in the 90s and is unchanged today. I'm an adult on the taller side, and no table I have is the right height to make it comfortable to peer into. Look at any picture of someone using a Virtual Boy, then or now: everyone is hunched over. Even in the official Nintendo Direct announcement! Yes the stand can pivot the shell but it doesn't help much. After much experimentation, I found the most comfortable position was to sit on the couch with my legs bent and the tongs cradled in my lap. Somehow this put the visor close enough to my face with minimal neck bending, and I was able to play with no stiff regrets. Try it.
Here I was, sitting in my dark den, Virtual Boy in my lap, cradling it with my glorious Switch 2 pro controller in hand, completely immersed in the sights and sounds of a blood-red world draped in night. I felt like a humble guest, given the privilege to visit a forgotten past of games completely broken off from the tree, floating alone in space. No other VR experience made me feel this profound. Traditional VR puts you into the game, but Virtual Boy brings you to the game. There is no eye-tracking, and no motion controls. They sound like they'd good additions but these introduce calibration errors and motion sickness. Virtual Boy presents a fixed world you gaze into, while the 3D depth sucks you in deeper and the 3D audio wraps around your head like a sonic hug.
Each game stands alone, but they all share a common denominator: the persistent, almost deified void. It makes every game play as if it's at night, whether it's the starry courts of Mario's Tennis, the shadowless courses of Golf, the dark caves of Wario Land, the shadowy tower of Mario Clash, or the outer space of Galactic Pinball (well, I guess that one makes sense.) To be the Virtual Boy is to be the shining red in the pitch dark. There is no other option. And forgive me if I keep repeating myself but it's such a profound sensation. It almost comes off frightening as it lies in the uncanny. We live in a real world of light and this is a fake world of dark. But it's oddly cozy. And it's a world I want to be in, especially compared to the bleak world we're in today.
There is no light... but there is vision.
There is no ground... but you are not falling.
You are not lost... but you are safe.
I'll likely review some of these games in more depth. But right now, just as an impression of the Virtual Boy NSO itself, I'm taken aback. I didn't expect the Switch 2 to procure 3D as effectively as it does, and I certainly didn't expect to get a quasi-religious experience from this hunk of plastic. And the games, though there are not many, do mostly look like effort was put into them. Not to mention the incredible high that will come from all of us playing the unreleased games together for the very first time.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a void to enter.
