Virtual Boy NSO - The Ultimate Curiosity

Retrogaming still reigns supreme in my soul, and the mini console game reviews and demo discs will be continued eventually. But after a particularly lucky session at a craps table in Atlantic City last weekend, I found myself the proud new owner of a Nintendo Switch 2, with the Virtual Boy headset on order. It arrived last night, and with it my ticket to a new, 30-year-old world I've only ever heard negative things about.

"Virtual Boy sucks...the games are terrible...it makes you go blind...it's so bad...what was Nintendo thinking...it's so stupid and anyone that likes it is stupid too..." 

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Virtual Boy was released in 1995 as a filler product to brunt Nintendo against the flurry of new consoles launched by its rivals. The Nintendo 64 was facing continual delays and the Super Nintendo and Game Boy were showing their age. So a virtual reality pet project Nintendo was dabbling in was forced into the limelight as the designated new shiny thing hoping to divert attention. An entirely new concept in the consumer gaming market, the Virtual Boy was technically impressive, even though it made major concessions to come together (namely its monochrome red graphics and awkward mount.) Initial reactions and previews were tepid if not completely hostile; critics rightly saw through the portable (?) console as the fad-chasing rush job it was. What could have been a third pillar in their product line was kneecapped before it had a chance to prove itself to the masses.

Nintendo was now in a bind. They had sunk too much time and money into this project to cancel it now, and its absence would draw even more attention to the missing N64. The best thing they could do is release the Virtual Boy anyway with its meager collection of launch window games, and call it a holiday season. Anything would be better than nothing. Even if people hate it and it underperforms, the Nintendo 64 would soon release (followed by the Game Boy Pocket refresh) and wash the Virtual Boy away from collective memory. It would be the best win/win they could cobble together.

And that's exactly what happened. Nintendo released the Virtual Boy out to die, filling in for a solid year left vacant by the N64's delay. Saddled with a high price, flaky support, and a horrible reputation, the Virtual Boy fulfilled its stopgap duty in name only. It did the company no favors, instead it was the incredible second wind of the Super Nintendo that kept Nintendo in gamers' good graces, along with the steady cadence of the Game Boy. By the time the Nintendo 64 finally released, Nintendo was all too happy to excise the Virtual Boy from existence... right?

In the years that followed, Nintendo made zero effort to recognize any game from the Virtual Boy's library, and yet the console itself would make cheeky cameos in future games. Super Smash Bros. Melee, Animal Crossing New Leaf, and Luigi's Mansion 3, among others, would reference the Virtual Boy's hardware with a thick glaze of irony. And yet the Nintendo 3DS came and went without a single mention of a Virtual Boy game port, despite the 3DS being a perfected version of the Virtual Boy's creative vision. So clearly Nintendo had a fickle relationship with its dud of a console, too proud to forget about it but too embarrassed to give it a second chance... which makes this Nintendo Switch reissue one of the most delightfully baffling decisions they have ever made.

Against every rational thought, especially for a publicly traded company, Nintendo decided this year to bolster its Switch Online service with the presence of the Virtual Boy. Most of the US library (along with some notable JP exclusives) made the list: games unavailable to properly experience for 30 years. Two additional games will soon join them that had their releases canceled. So yes, fully complete games shelved indefinitely for a dead-end console will inexplicably see the light of day decades after their time. It's incredibly fascinating in its circumstance alone. Especially from a company that is notorious for its questionable decisions, every now and then Nintendo pulls a stunt like this that solidifies their place as one of gaming's most magical companies.

And this stunt wouldn't be complete without going. all. the. way. As the Virtual Boy was a truly unique experience, playing it straight on a traditional emulator wouldn't do the system justice. You need the 3D, you need the immersion. So they released a full-size replica shell that your Switch slots into, taking your 2025 console back to 1995. For those scared to fully commit, they also released a (cheaper) cardboard shell to peer into, requiring you to hold your Switch like a periscope.

Ok so with alllll that exposition out of the way, what am I trying to get at here??

I always knew about the Virtual Boy, but never had enough interest to delve in it. Even after seeing the NSO trailer, I didn't jump on purchasing the $100 accessory to use it. (Or the $30 cardboard one for that matter.) All I needed to know about its ill-fated library I saw already on countless YouTube videos, each more cynical and mean-spirited than the last. But as Nintendo kept adding games to the service, my interest slowly climbed. Yes it's the Virtual Boy, yes it 'sucks' according to the Internet, but risk-averse modern-day Nintendo is choosing to celebrate these games front and center, going all-out with this initiative. They don't have to be doing this. Maybe, just maybe, these games aren't as bad as the algorithm is telling me they are? And worth trying? 

With a $100 casino chip burning a hole in my pocket, and my NSO subscription paid for in perpetuity by the cash back on my credit card, for me this modern-day Virtual Boy is completely free! I have nothing to lose but my time (and possibly my eyesight if I actually believed the over-memed health warnings.)

I started up the Virtual Boy NSO app, popped my shiny new Switch 2 in the shell (Switch 1 works too!) and was immediately greeted with the color red. Like, welcome to your new vision, it's red. So much red. And if it isn't red, it's black. But not just any black. The best way to describe it is 'void.' You see, the Virtual Boy is a world of eternal night. Everything hangs in this void of uncanny darkness. The graphics punctuate the void in various shades of red, in a richer gamut than I had expected. The rich mono spectrum combined with crisp pixels allow for a level of detail in the sprites that multicolor would muddy. And these sprites all layer in front of you like a pop-up book, with a true 3D effect that flat videos cannot replicate. It legitimately works, and unlike the 3DS it is required for the games to properly play. This is why you can't just play the games without visor lenses, or on a TV. Running these games in RetroArch like any other retro console will work, but without the parallax depth the games will be difficult to judge and unflattering to view. It's precisely this compromised emulation that has tarnished the Virtual Boy even more over the years. Like modern VR headsets, there is a 'sweet spot' you'll need to find, but once you do the Virtual Boy's graphics really shine. And shine they do, in a very lasery red.

The Virtual Boy's odd tong-like legs make for a table mount that was uncomfortable to use in the 90s and is unchanged today. I'm an adult on the taller side, and no table I have is the right height to make it comfortable to peer into. Look at any picture of someone using a Virtual Boy, then or now: everyone is hunched over. Even in the official Nintendo Direct announcement! Yes the stand can pivot the shell but it doesn't help much. After much experimentation, I found the most comfortable position was to sit on the couch with my legs bent and the tongs cradled in my lap. Somehow this put the visor close enough to my face with minimal neck bending, and I was able to play with no stiff regrets. Try it.

With the sweet spot found and my neck in a comfortable position, I was able to fully appreciate the absolute vibe that is the Virtual Boy. Especially with the trends of vaporwave aesthetics and lo-fi tracker music all over the Internet, the Virtual Boy's audiovisual language fits in to the 'what's old is new' mentality effortlessly. The Virtual Boy's presentation is a perfect bridge between the Game Boy and Super Nintendo. Sprites are crisp and surprisingly detailed, and the chiptune audio has more layers of depth than expected, along with clear voice samples. The sound is also very stereophonic, with the Switch's speakers so close to your ears the audio really surrounds your head. I knew to expect the 3D video, but it was the 3D audio that really surprised me. And Virtual Boy games have some seriously catchy music! Even if the Virtual Boy was a straight-up traditional system, it still has a 'feel' unlike any other console I've played (or most anyone has played, for that matter.) That alone is something truly special, especially for a retrogamer where surprises are finite!

Here I was, sitting in my dark den, Virtual Boy in my lap, cradling it with my glorious Switch 2 pro controller in hand, completely immersed in the sights and sounds of a blood-red world draped in night. I felt like a humble guest, given the privilege to visit a forgotten past of games completely broken off from the tree, floating alone in space. No other VR experience made me feel this profound. Traditional VR puts you into the game, but Virtual Boy brings you to the game. There is no eye-tracking, and no motion controls. They sound like they'd good additions but these introduce calibration errors and motion sickness. Virtual Boy presents a fixed world you gaze into, while the 3D depth sucks you in deeper and the 3D audio wraps around your head like a sonic hug. 

Each game stands alone, but they all share a common denominator: the persistent, almost deified void. It makes every game play as if it's at night, whether it's the starry courts of Mario's Tennis, the shadowless courses of Golf, the dark caves of Wario Land, the shadowy tower of Mario Clash, or the outer space of Galactic Pinball (well, I guess that one makes sense.) To be the Virtual Boy is to be the shining red in the pitch dark. There is no other option. And forgive me if I keep repeating myself but it's such a profound sensation. It almost comes off frightening as it lies in the uncanny. We live in a real world of light and this is a fake world of dark. But it's oddly cozy. And it's a world I want to be in, especially compared to the bleak world we're in today.

There is no light... but there is vision. 

There is no ground... but you are not falling. 

You are not lost... but you are safe.

I'll likely review some of these games in more depth. But right now, just as an impression of the Virtual Boy NSO itself, I'm taken aback. I didn't expect the Switch 2 to procure 3D as effectively as it does, and I certainly didn't expect to get a quasi-religious experience from this hunk of plastic. And the games, though there are not many, do mostly look like effort was put into them. Not to mention the incredible high that will come from all of us playing the unreleased games together for the very first time.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a void to enter.

Revisited: Pizza Hut Demo Disc 2

Another Saturday night solo, so you know what that means: another time-warped basement gaming session courtesy of Pizza Hut! In my alternate universe, the pizza I ordered tonight came with the second demo disc in the Pizza Hut/PlayStation collaboration, sporting 5 more games slated for release in 1999. Let’s see what we’ve got here, will lightning strike twice and bring me another evening of short-burst fun? The last disc set the bar pretty high, but the PS1 library is as wide and deep as the ocean. I can’t wait to pop it in, and we’re starting off with… Tetris?

The Next Tetris

Demo Disc 1 opened up with Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, arguably one of the greatest demos of all time. Disc 2 kicks things off a bit more subdued. Tetris is a hard game to iterate on without feeling like a knock-off. Some games in the series do manage to introduce the right amount of freshness and evolution. Then you have others like The Next Tetris, which are just… blah. The hallmark of the PlayStation was its 3D polygonal graphics, and when done well really brought gaming to the next dimension. TNT made its Tetris blocks 3D polygons and called it a day: flat, bland, shimmering shapes falling into the same playfield used for a decade already. Everything from the game pieces to the menus and side panels has a wobble to it to show off the 3D-ness of it all, but the effect is barely impressive. It’s still Tetris, so it’s still a good game, but it’s hard to be wowed when the presentation is so lazy. 

The Next Tetris, from what we can tell from the demo, is stage-based. The goal is not to simply make lines and score up, but clear out pre-positioned blocks in the playfield. The tetromino pieces are all the same from the past, but some are made of separate chunks which will detach and drop if placed over an opening. This opens up a bit of strategy in forming lines and chaining combos. It’s not a bad idea, and surely future games adapted this idea into their side modes with a little more refinement. You can choose between a standard game and a challenge game: both feature the same objective but the challenge mode challenges you (haha) into clearing the stage in a set number of moves. Each mode features three different stages wrapped around a five-minute timer, and the demo ends at whichever finishes first.

For those not enamored with the Tetris lifestyle, this five-minute demo is all you’ll want and then some. Again the game is not inherently bad. It’s competent Tetris (albeit a little threadbare) and it’s nice to have clear goals to work toward. Even the chaining aspect is fun. A solid presentation would have been great to wrap it all together in but it is simply not there. It’s also an odd game to have a demo for. Tetris shouldn’t have to ‘sell’ you at this point, either you’ll buy the game because you like Tetris or you won’t. Nothing about this game or this demo would make any agnostic a believer.

Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage!

Quick story time! My next door neighbor growing up owned a PlayStation, and on his pack-in disc was a demo of the first Spyro the Dragon. We played that demo inside and out repeatedly for months, we absolutely adored it. For Christmas that year he got the sequel, Spyro 2, and we played it together to completion. I’ve since played Spyro 2 (as well as the others) many a time, so I am extremely familiar with it, but I’ve never played it before in demo form! This will be interesting!

The Spyro 2 demo opens up with a preview of all the game has to offer, before having you choose between two levels to play for yourself. The two levels they chose are surprising to me, as they are not introductory or simple; they take place several worlds into the main game.

These are the full levels from the main game, with all the gems, talismans, and orbs ready to be collected. There’s no gating, no hand-holding, and again the levels themselves are not the simplest they could’ve chosen. These levels also feature some of the more challenging orb missions, and nothing’s been toned down for the demo’s sake. Even the skill points (hidden objectives) are present and achievable! Finishing either stage through its portal dumps you right back to the demo’s main menu, which is unceremonious compared to Spyro 1 which let you pop around the levels at will.

This is definitely the meatier of Disc 2’s offerings, and will take you a while… if you’re not a Spyro player. For a returning veteran that runtime is much lower. It doesn’t feel as much as a demo as it feels like jumping into someone else’s save file. It can feel a little jarring not being eased in, and the game’s actual opening levels could’ve served as a much better demo, but maybe they were trying to subvert our expectations?

Gran Turismo 2

In this second half of the PS1’s lifespan, Gran Turismo surged ahead as a marquee title. Though Spyro got top billing, this demo for Gran Turismo 2 is the headliner of Disc 2. As a series known for its massive amount of content, how would they manage to pare it down for a demo?

GT2 is split between an Arcade disc and a Simulation disc, offering different methods of play. Here the Arcade side is represented with a single track to race on, three different difficulty levels and three types of cars, with a couple available to choose from. The Simulation side is treated more like a teaser, featuring menu after menu of dummied-out selections and functions. With little context, it all comes across a little nonsensical. Similar to Spyro 2, those familiar with the predecessor probably get more out of this demo than newcomers like myself.

So all in all you get a solid race with a bit of replayability with the cars and difficulties you’re given. And if the menus tantalize you into giving the full game a go, then they’ve done their job. GT2’s demo gives you the bare minimum to get a feel for the quality and high standards they’re going for, and it’s impressive even to this day. You can tell they were squeezing every drop out of the PS1 they could, and yet it doesn’t feel limiting. I’ve been meaning to dip into the GT franchise but its depth and hardcore-ness kept me away. Frankly a demo like this was a good way to take some of its teeth away, maybe starting with the Arcade side of GT2 would be a good place to start!

Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation

Hmm, that’s odd. After selecting a demo you’re always shown a screen outlining the game’s controls. Tomb Raider didn’t have one. No big deal I guess, maybe the demo has its own control screen. 

The game boots directly into a trailer. Hmm that’s different too. Just a standard coming soon trailer, showcasing new levels and features with text overlays. After two minutes or so, the trailer ends as we load into… the boot menu? Wait there’s no playable demo?? 

Yep. Now, it was very normal for demo discs to include a mix of playable demos and video-only trailers, but the games were clearly marked as demos or videos. Disc 1 was all demos, and nothing indicated that Tomb Raider was video-only. The disc opening even alludes to the game being playable! I feel gypped! Come on, they really couldn’t have slipped even a piece of level into this disc? Of allll the upcoming PlayStation releases, on discs that were all gameplay no video, why did they bother putting this one on? Sigh.

Sled Storm

I suppose it’s Pizza Hut Demo Disc tradition that we feature a snow-based game. But I’m pleased to report Sled Storm is a much better experience than Cool Boarders 4. We’ve got two characters and two tracks, pretty standard demo fare. Multiplayer is also supported, alluding once again to having 4-player support. Instead of snowboarding down a mountain, we’re snowmobiling around a track. 

Also with a rudimentary trick system, there’s a lot of similarities to CB4, but everything about Sled Storm just feels better. It’s still not a game I’ll pursue further, but it makes for a good demo and something I wouldn’t mind spinning up for a few races here and there. A decent finish for a rather uneven disc.

Unfortunately, I left Disc 2 a little disappointed. Disc 1 was a brilliant journey of solid demos of legendary PlayStation games. Disc 2 made some questionable game choices, and the demos themselves were just odd representations of their games. The Next Tetris was literally over in 5 minutes, and is a game that doesn’t need to be demoed. Spyro 2 is a certified banger, but it was a bold move to feature two intermediate levels that could’ve easily turned off newcomers. Gran Turismo 2 is lucky it’s as good of a game it is, as its demo feels phoned in and the simulation menus to nowhere felt a bit pretentious. Tomb Raider, let’s not even go there with my disappointment. And Sled Storm was… fine. 

Is it a bad demo disc? No not really, after all it’s hard to be mad about a freebie. Disc 1 certainly outshines it, but both discs together showcase a great collection representative of the PS1 in its second half. It’s still a great duology to cherish and remember fondly, and it’s been a pleasure to revisit this pizza slice of PlayStation life 27 years ago. Demo discs have a unique way of capturing the mood of their era, and after fast-forwarding to present day 2026, oh man, please take me back!!

Revisited: Pizza Hut Demo Disc 1 (PS1)

From 1998 into 1999, the PlayStation was on top of the world. The Nintendo 64 was a solid second fiddle, and the Sega Saturn was completely dead. Sony’s marketing output was very aggressive, and even in first place did not hold back, hosting cross-collaborations with any company willing to play. Enter Pizza Hut, a nationally renowned chain of restaurants looking to boost their sales with the adolescent/young adult demographic. With qualifying pizza purchases, customers would receive one of two demo discs for their PlayStations free of charge. The Pizza Hut Demo Discs, as they would be known, are legendary little time capsules of nostalgic joy. It was the oddest yet successful collaboration of two very different companies, released at the peak of PS1 mania, and a wonderful example of the turn-of-the-century optimism we all briefly shared.

Demo discs are truly a lost art form. They were a staple medium throughout the fifth and sixth gaming generations, but they truly hit their stride on the PS1. They were everywhere; pack-in bundles, gaming magazines, checkout counters, mail orders, and yes, pizza deliveries. This was the best way at the time to check out the latest and greatest for your console, as the Internet was not ready for streaming video and print media could only convey so much. Watching video clips right from the disc, or better yet playing a snippet of the game itself, was the best chance a game had to capture your attention. Demos came out for games already released or still in development, leading sometimes to key differences from the full versions that game aficionados pour over to this very day. Sometimes final games would differ due to direct demo feedback of prior builds!

Crafting a good demo is a delicate balancing act. You want to deliver just enough gameplay, just enough length, and just enough replay value, of course with the ultimate goal of convincing a purchase of the full game. Should a demo be too short, it may be overwhelming and lose any player interest before it has a chance to sink in. Too deep, and the demo may suffice as the game itself. It requires finesse to perfectly serve a slice of the game: some demos succeed in this where others fall short. Plus, it does help for the game to actually be good.

With the house to myself last Saturday night, and trying to avoid the daily reminders of the shameful state of world affairs, I decided to transport my basement to the winter of 1998/99. I ordered in some Pizza Hut and downloaded an ISO of Disc 1. The pizza was… fine, I mean it’s Pizza Hut. As a proud tri-state area resident I must establish that true pizza comes from a local pizzeria. Pizza Hut, Domino’s, etc. are pizza-adjacent food products that have their time and place, but do not confuse them for the genuine article. Okay, now that I have my snobbery out of the way…

Through my research, I found the Pizza Hut Demos are renowned today for showing the best of what a good demo disc can offer. So let’s see how much mileage my demo freebie would give me if I got it with my pizza. Would I blow through it in a half hour, or could it enthrall me as much as any real game in my collection? And would I discover a new game(s) to play for real? After finishing my dinner, with the pizza box still in view, I loaded up Disc 1 and connected a DualSense to my emulator. In my head it was 1999, but my 4K TV, RetroArch core and PS5 controller kept me firmly in 2026. Hey, you do what you can…

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater

Wow, this disc really comes out swinging! Of the five games on tap, this is the only one I’ve played before and I’m extremely familiar with it. This was typical of demo discs, inevitably you’d get a demo of a game you already had. So it was fun to see what the demo offered knowing what the rest of the game has. THPS’ demo offers a two-minute single session in the classic Warehouse stage, with two skaters to choose from. In this Single Session mode your only goal is to score as many points as you can. Your score is even kept on a leaderboard for future runs. This PS1 demo differs from the demo I had for my Dreamcast, which offered the same stage but in the Career mode, with its objectives in place and ready to be cleared. (With skill you could clear all five in a single run!) The PS1 demo also features the game’s menu system with most options greyed out, with the ‘NOT IN DEMO’ messages outlining what else the full version has in store.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater goes down in history as one of the greatest games, but also as one of the greatest demos of all time. It’s a perfect representation of the game as a whole with a shocking amount of replay value, acting as a self-contained score attack that could easily tide you over for the months until your birthday or Christmas when you’d finally get the game for yourself. This demo alone is worth the cost of the pizza.

Ape Escape

It’s easy to forget that the PlayStation originally came with a controller that did not feature rumble or analog sticks. The DualShock we remember today released midway through the PS1’s life, and was initially seen as a novelty controller. A gimmick, instead of a game-changer. Games today that use analog control (such as modern first-person shooters) were not common on the platform, and camera control was historically done with the shoulder buttons, not the right stick. So this quirky controller had to have a quirky game to justify its existence, and that game was Ape Escape.

My only experience with Ape Escape was knowing it was designed to showcase the DualShock controller, a game that could not be played otherwise. As such, the left stick controls your movement and the right stick aims your net/gadget. If that aim was mapped to the face buttons, you would not have that fluid level of 360 control. Some gadgets also use the right stick in different ways independent of your main control. It’s really interesting to see a bog-standard controller nowadays be treated as this unique input, by mentally transporting back to 1998 you really see the wonder they saw in it. At one point you control an RC car with the right stick while following it with the left stick. Again it’s a really simple sequence but it feels so fresh, all with a industry-standard controller. I’d love to play this game in full to see how much more innovation they squeezed out of a DualShock. Oh and the main objective of catching monkeys with a butterfly net is pretty fun too!

This demo is on the meatier side, with an explorable hub world, two full levels, and three tutorial areas. The levels can also be revisited after collecting additional gadgets, allowing for 100% level completion, and then time attacks for each level with a designated time to beat. That’s right, in a mere demo you have backtracking, item progression, and goal-based time trials! This really is a self-contained (very small) game in its own right, with infinite replay value. There’s a lot here to like and play with but you’re left wanting more, and that’s what pulls the purchase trigger.

Crash Team Racing

No kart racer has been able to de-throne Mario, but Crash Team Racing is among the closest. I never got around to playing it despite interest, so this was my first go around the track. And after rounding the first corner, oh yes, I can see why this game is so highly regarded. It feels great, looks great, runs great. Unfortunately, part of a kart racer’s appeal is its character lineup, and I’m unfamiliar with Crash’s universe. I’d imagine many others are also, and no matter how good the game is, this disconnect is what dooms the series into its cult status.

Compared to Ape Escape, CTR’s demo is notably light. No menus, no options, no choices, just a brief tip screen and you’re thrown into a single three-lap race on a single track. The race itself is fully-featured, with items, characters, and track features, so there’s not much more the game needs to offer. And it doesn’t. After finishing your race, the game hangs awkwardly until you quit back to the demo menu. At least show me the finishing times or something!

Yes I’ll play the full version based on the fun I had with the demo, despite its unfinished feel. I’d write this off as a ‘bad demo’ if not for one thing: multiplayer. It’s very rare for a demo to feature 2-player support, but it doesn’t end there… The CTR demo features a 4-player option!! This disc really is a relic of another time: not just the support of a new controller but the support of an optional multi-tap?! It was rare enough for a PS1 game to use it, but a demo disc no less, what an absolute treat for those that had one. So yes, as long as you don’t mind only one racetrack and a spartan interface, grab three friends and fire away!

Cool Boarders 4

Any game collection, even one as revered as this, is allowed to have a dud. And well, here it is. Somehow this demo is even more basic than CTR’s, dumping you immediately into a race on a single track with a single character. After your roughly two-minute ride down the mountain, you’re booted right back to the disc menu. The game is over and shut down before you have a chance to figure out what it is. Even Tony Hawk kept a scoreboard and stayed within its game for you to replay. Constantly rebooting from the disc menu to get back to the action gets tedious quick, and it subconsciously nudges you to play something else.

No offense to the game, and those who enjoy it, but I had a very hard time figuring it out. It seems like it should be so simple, a race down the mountain pulling tricks as you go, but the controls fought me the whole time. I tried to play the game like Tony Hawk, but it really doesn’t handle the same way. I kept bailing and getting caught on scenery, losing all momentum and finding it hard to maintain speed. Holding down X to prep a jump helped sometimes, but held too long and I wouldn’t actually jump? Also, this is a race, no? Am I meant to be tricking for points or just getting to the end in first place? We have two game systems at odds with each other, and I couldn’t figure out what the game was asking of me. Having zero instruction from the demo didn’t help. The end of the race also didn’t pull up any times or scores, so I have no idea whether I technically won or lost. I felt like a loser by default.

Unfortunately we have a case of a bad demo of a mediocre game. Oh well. There probably is some fun to be had here, with the determination of squeezing blood from a stone. If this was your only PlayStation disc, which was very possible for some gamers, you’d make it happen. Whoever decided to match this demo up on the same disc as THPS did the game particularly dirty, as the Hawk outclasses this game in every way. And I’m sorry, this is Cool Boarders 4? As in, this series did so well three times over to get to this one? Woof.

Final Fantasy VIII

I know what you’re thinking, since I was thinking the same thing: “How on earth do you come up with a demo of a massive, world-class RPG, and then casually pop it on a disc alongside other games on a promo disc from Pizza Hut?!” Well, they did. And oh man they did. Give yourself some time for this one, as they managed to put an experience on this disc I didn’t think an unassuming demo could. 

I genuinely was not ready for this one.

I’ve made many attempts to get into Final Fantasy. Older entries, newer ones, remasters, spinoffs, but nothing has stuck yet. So although I have working knowledge of it (as I do RPGs in general), please forgive my ignorance. Technically I’m exactly the type person this demo was targeting. Right off the bat we’re greeted with some gorgeous CGI cutscenes: the soft-focus, floaty, pre-rendered clips the PS1 was famous for. Quaint today, but a signature of gaming’s fifth generation. After a smooth transition to the in-game graphics (also… quaint in their own way), the demo begins. I believe this is an adaptation of a mid-game quest in the final game, with a host of differences to help ease the new player in.

The demo for FF8 smartly ignores lengthy exposition and in-universe canon, with the purpose of giving the player various tastes of what this large game has to offer. The mission takes your party off the coast, through a city, up a hill, and to the top of an antenna tower. The random battles along the way give your characters a smattering of physical and magic attacks to try out with no restrictions, along with special attacks and summons that pop up from time to time. You’re left on your own to figure out the ATB system, and it’s refreshing to be allowed to just play around in a video game (crazy notion, I know). Usable items are limited to just health restores and revivals, though only usable in-battle. There are no in-the-field status menus or item usage—pressing the start button only leads to a toggle for the controller rumble. This, while very streamlined, does make the demo notably harder as all recoveries need to be done in the heat of battle.

At the top of the tower lies your boss battle between two enemy soldiers, when out of nowhere, a monstrous beast sweeps them away and becomes your new foe. (Yes I am absolutely going to spoil a 27-year-old game demo.) Upon its defeat, you’re commanded to return to the coast in 15 minutes… 15 literal real-time minutes that start ticking down in the corner for the rest of the game. As if watching the timer persist through load screens wasn’t tense enough, the boss soldier in its dying throe activates a giant crab-like sentry robot to chase you. It cannot be killed and aggressively takes HP as fast as you can replenish it with your dwindling items. And the time is still ticking! You book it back through every area you’ve passed through, with the sentry relentlessly on your tail, either as a real-time enemy or a CG cutscene demolishing anything in its path. At long last you make it to the coast and a final cutscene takes over: machine gunners on your ship blast the robot to death while the music swells and the Squaresoft staff roll punctuates the scene. As you sail away, the demo is revealed to be a film reel, with a scratchy sepia ‘WINTER 1999’ and sketch markings before the strip flicks off-screen. Immediately you’re booted back to the disc menu with no fanfare.

What. An. Experience. In one hour, I started knowing nothing about anything. Surely I developed a feel for the battle system, which is surprisingly fluid and cinematic. Even though you roughly take turns attacking, there’s still a beat to who attacks when. You may be menuing for one of your characters when your other one decides to begin their magic attack. Every battle’s camera angle is different, which can make things a little disorienting but it’s forgiven when the system makes you feel like a director in charge of your actors. You don’t control them as much as you suggest what they do when they're ready. And if you think the magic and melee attacks are flashy, just wait until you literally feel the rumble of the showboats that are the summons. You need to put on your nostalgia glasses and ignore the crunchiness, but the grandiosity of these graphics (especially at the time) are something else. So much flourish.

I felt empowered enough to beat the boss with the experience I gained messing around with the lesser enemies, but then came the countdown sequence. I was caught by the sentry one more time than I think I was supposed to, and I fled that battle with no items left and literally one character left with 10HP. When I finally got to the shore I prayed it was over, my grip tight on the controller. As the final cutscene blew the bot to bits and the developer names flashed all around I knew it was over, and I couldn’t help but shout a triumphant ‘OH MAN, YES!!’ to my dark, empty 1999 basement. I'm not ashamed to say my heart was pounding out of my chest over a 27-year old demo.

The FF8 demo is an absolute triumph. What a perfect wade into the shallow end of an abyss of a game series. This friendly demo welcomed me in and left me craving more, no longer intimidated but intrigued to go deeper. A game of this audiovisual caliber was impossible on any console before it, second only to its peers, and firmly set the PlayStation in a league all its own. This demo opened me and many other gamers up to a new kind of game, and the gumption to give a JRPG this type of exposure was a major gambit that paid off handsomely.

So did Pizza Hut Demo Disc 1 live up to the hype? Oh, did it! It did exactly what it set out to do, and entertained me for a full Saturday evening. This would not be recycled with the pizza box, and would definitely stay in my library for an occasional break from my other games. It added a few games to my backlog, that's for sure: Ape Escape especially. It reminded me I’m overdue for another Tony Hawk 1 run, reinforced that I should really delve into Crash Team Racing, and I’m more hyped than ever to break into Final Fantasy VIII. As for Cool Boarders 4, well it's a game all right. Pizza Hut lovers and PS1 gamers in ’99 had a fresh list of titles to raid Blockbuster and beg their weary parents for, all thanks to Disc 1.

And when their craving for another Stuffed Crust came around, those lucky gamers found Disc 2 tucked in their box… so next week let’s order a pizza and do it all over again.